Right off the bat I can assume that you already have an idea of what I’m going to complain about: Olivia didn’t have any plans for Valentine’s day, and she’s going to make it everyone’s problem. And to that I say, no. I complain about everything, but I know how to not be completely miserable.

Whether I had Valentine’s plans is none of your business or not, and I certainly would not have anything to complain about over it. But if you’re dying to know, my valentine’s day simply consisted of going downtown, going to my neighbor’s house to pet sit, and a nice dinner with my family eating homemade Chipotle bowls. 

My day wasn’t full of bleeding to death from being hit by arrows, nor did I have chocolate smeared all over my face from an incredibly thoughtful box of chocolates from the drug store. Actually, my sister was given a box from one of her students she was willing to share, but my pudgy dog stole it and ate it all but one piece—he survived though, surprisingly, how he did I’m not sure. This is the same dog who lost control of his bladder on our ride home from New York.  

It’s safe to say that my dog had a more satisfactory Valentine’s day than roughly half the population, and I’m sorry to those single people out there who don’t have the guts to admit that themselves. 

Going back to me though, a lot of people asked me my opinions on Valentine’s day. Since I complain about everything else in my life, Valentine’s day would be the perfect, heart shaped cherry on top. But actually, my problem isn’t the holiday. It’s the single people who make Valentine’s day all about themselves. They complain about the decorated grocery aisles so much that the flowers on the shelves begin to wither and the chocolate dipped strawberries begin to melt the moment they walk by them. 

These people are so absolutely miserable over the fact that they don’t have anyone to celebrate the fourteenth with. My question is, you knew you were going to be single on the day before and after Valentine’s day, and quite literally 364 days before that too, so what makes this one day a year so different? 

And I’m not saying every year I’ve had the perfect Valentine’s, but at least I don’t go out of my way to make happy couples miserable just because I was. I have just as bad memories of Valentine’s as the next person. Back in second grade, I was so eager to eat my candy, but then ate a giant plate of spaghetti, then my dad and I had to run to Wegmans for errands. Safe to say I did not have the best encounter with the Wegmans bathroom shortly after that. But I don’t let these experiences define what the holiday is. 

How shallow do you have to be to only see Valentine’s day as just for romantic purposes? We’ve had that giant wave of the Galentine’s movement, and we even have pets to celebrate it. If you don’t have anyone to share love with on Valentine’s day, save some for yourself and pamper yourself. 

If you can’t see past the couples aspect of Valentine’s day, you simply need to grow up. 

It’s not just Valentine’s day in which these glum, single zombies mope around every holiday where they can’t celebrate with someone else. They don’t have anyone to stand under a mistletoe with, no couples costumes, not even someone to pinch on St. Paddy’s. At this point, the only holiday they can go without complaining is Labor Day. And even then, these people will find a way to complain. Their white Labor Day clothes are stained green from jealousy. 

Just because you don’t have anyone to celebrate these holidays with doesn’t mean you have to have to harass happy couples over it. Maybe you don’t have anyone to celebrate with because they don’t want to put up with your constant moping. 

To any couple whose holiday was ruined by a sad and lonely single person, next year don’t give them any attention. They are only acting out because they have no one who can give them attention on Valentine’s day.