Being in advanced classes, the general stereotype for students like me is that we are always organized and disciplined; we are successful students who understand the importance of time management. 

I can tell you firsthand that that is a load of junk. 

As we suffer through the weight of these classes, not only is the workload exhausting, but exam season feels like the most intense mosh pit at a band singing songs about Manifest Destiny and Transcendentalism. Getting thrown around left and right, trying to review topics you haven’t discussed in months, is as difficult as Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill.

From unit guides to practice quizzes, March through May is nothing but academic torture. All these exams only teach us that learning doesn’t have actual benefits unless there is a number and a grade attached to it. I don’t enjoy writing essays on my own unless the College Board graces me with that shiny number six grade. I don’t like studying about Psychology vocab unless I get that lovely 100 written in red on my test. 

Seriously, I used to research the biological history of polar bears as a kid, but now I can barely make it through a chemistry lesson without dozing off into some pristine utopia where I don’t have to learn about stoichiometry. 

Despite my laziness throughout the school year, exam season is when I begin to excessively review the endless mass of content, condensed into the span of 336 hours. 

It always starts the same. I promise myself that I will review for at least an hour every night leading up to the exams. That never happens – a surprise to no one. I’m lucky if I even get 20 haphazard minutes of studying. 

After my first fruitless plan, I use my surroundings, such as new environments and different peers, to try to motivate myself to actually get something done.

Another tactic I use is going downtown with my friends to study. I hypothesize that having smart friends will lead me to be more productive because I don’t want to seem lazy around them. 

As you can guess, downtown and friends aren’t a good mix, as it leads us to walking around the district looking at used book stores, as well as visiting the possum that lives in that gift shop on William Street. Studying: zero, Procrastination: two. 

It’s not like I choose to procrastinate. Who would want to spend their days stress-free and participating in things they enjoy when they could feel the dopamine rush of stress and agony? 

The clock on exam season creeps alarmingly close, and it is at this point that I begin to realize how alarmingly screwed I am. 

As I am writing this, I am almost exactly one week away from my first AP exam. When I came to this realization a few hours ago, I was hit with immense nausea and fear. Since then, my YouTube history is full of Heimler’s History and Crash Course videos. 

This brings us to the final stage. True last-minute cramming. Remember those notes you said you’d revise? Too late for those now. It’s better to just let them collect dust in the corner of your desk.. All you can rely on is YouTube reviews, and maybe even a little praying to the wilderness to pass– thanks, Yellowjackets.

Once the exams are finished and school has ended, one would think the stress of exams would disappear, but no. After these tests are completed, you don’t even get your grade until halfway through summer. So while I’m trying to finally relax and soak in some vitamin D, the College Board continues to taunt me.

With the first set of AP exams starting within a week, I wish every student luck. You’ll need it. Hoping everyone has a happy exam season, and I hope and have confidence you will get a five. Just remember to cram.