In another universe Right?

Those three words tend to always leave our mouths.
If we re truly so bad for one another, why can t we just let go? Why do we always get pulled back towards each other?

I still remember the day that I knew I had begun to fall in love with you. Your pretty brown eyes glowed at me and I couldn’t t help but drown in them. Your presence felt so warm it made the whole world silent. I know you loved me back. I felt it. You made me feel so loved. You held me like I was fragile which had me melt into your arms. We made so many promises that day. Just two kids who wanted to give one another the world. Who would’ve thought we d hurt each other this much.

We walked the hallways together full of laughter. Everyone knew you were mine and I was yours. If you were there they knew that I must be there too. We talked 24 hours every single day. Our humor and personality became the same. You were mine and I was yours.

Conversations that were once filled with love and jokes were now constant arguments. We once couldn’t go an entire day without speaking to one another. Then it turned into one day. Then three. A week. Months. What happened? The first time you lied to me I wasn’t hurt, I was confused. How can those soft eyes of yours look back into mine and let those hurtful words come out?

I hurt you too. I thought I could move one from what you did to me and we could go back to being perfectly normal. I never forgave myself for the way I made you feel that day. I swore I would make sure I never did anything to hurt you ever again. It was only now that I realized you took advantage of that. After all, you hurt me first right?

I still remember when I heard about you and another girl. I never in my life would have imagined saying that sentence. We were not together when it happened but you told me you’d hate seeing me with someone else. You still came over every now and then and laid in my arms. Just to leave again and have me find out about yet another girl situation you were involved in. Yet I always waited for you.

Every time we tried again it was always something. We suddenly couldn’t go a day without draining each other with arguments. You once told me you had so much respect for me. Just to spit out so many disrespectful words to me. I still remember when you called me telling me how done you were with me. You kept repeating it over and over again. I argued with you and told you that you had no right to feel the way you do. We yelled and screamed at one another for hours. Yet we never hung up. We just kept going. When it hit midnight we started to get quiet. You made a dumb joke and I laughed at it. Then you started talking about your life and I talked about mine.

“I love you so much Hindreen”
“And I love you more…”

And the cycle continued. The problem with being toxic towards one another is the fact that underneath all the arguments and hurt, we loved each other. That is why it is so hard to let go. Even after moving on to other people, I still feel as though I cannot let you go.

If only..

we could’ve been that happy couple we were in the beginning.
Or maybe we are.

In another universe. Right? But for now I have to let you go and love you with all my heart from afar.